Last weekend, our family took a two-hour hike, which gave us plenty of time to unplug from our technology, reconnect to our surroundings, and catch up on our week. At one point in the hike, I asked each of our three kids, ages nine (twins) and twelve, a question: “In September, looking back on the summer, what do you want to have accomplished?” Responses ranged from doing a full split and a front flip to riding go-carts and learning to dock a boat. We agreed to post these items on our summer calendar and do a midsummer progress check.
As I simultaneously engaged in and observed this conversation, I felt great joy showing up coach-like as a parent. This simple act of asking a powerful “what” question, like “What do you want to accomplish?” opened an aspirational, fun, and reflective conversation with our kids. This exchange, a literal and metaphorical expedition, and exploration of possible intentions and goals is coaching even in the most informal way.
There are many definitions and names for coaching, especially in an education context: academic coach, success coach, and instructional coach, to name a few. The kind of coaching on this hike aligns more with life-type coaching. Lefdahl-Davis and colleagues (2018) define coaching as a “professional practice of collaborating with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process.” Unlike mentors or advisors, a coaching-client relationship is an equal partnership rather than an expert-novice engagement. Coaching is a process whereby clients may gain new insights and create habits to achieve articulated intentions or goals. In the case of our kids, naming the aspirational plans for the summer offered a compass of sorts for our summer plans. In the case of an actual coaching session, “What steps do they need to take now to accomplish these goals?” may have been my next question.
Evidence suggests that life coaching yields various positive results, including improved self-awareness and well-being, higher levels of life satisfaction, and increased goal attainment. Linley et al. (2010) also noted that life coaching contributes to better well-being due to its positive impact on goal achievement. Moreover, these psychological benefits may contribute to more significant goal progress in the future. School-aged students who participated in coaching sessions reported increased hope, lower levels of anxiety, and more engagement in school activities (Waters, 2011).
Coaching may also represent an approach to developing 21st-century skills and notable core skills from the Future of Jobs Report 2023, including curiosity, analytical skills, and creative thinking. Hiking, asking a question, and listening created space for curiosity about the summer, an awareness of interests, and perhaps motivation to reach these goals now that they have been said aloud. Wortham and colleagues (2020) identified four elements critical to comprehensive well-being: developing multiple facets of humans, engaging with others, embracing intrinsic and extrinsic goals, and finding a larger purpose.
Over the last decade and, more recently, with our experiences in the pandemic, researchers, policymakers, and educators have emphasized the importance of designing and implementing strategies and techniques to educate and develop the whole student. In a recent publication on emotional intelligence, Emotional Self Awareness: A Primer, Daniel Goleman (2017) defines the concept of emotional intelligence as moving beyond intellectual intelligence and states it is a “key to high performance at all levels, particularly for outstanding leadership, it’s how you manage yourself and your relationships.” Goleman and colleagues (2005) defined and organized emotional intelligence competencies into four domains: “self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.” Self-management and self-awareness refer to one’s ability to understand and self-manage their awareness and emotions. Social awareness and relationship management are the domains that determine how well one identifies and understands the feelings of others and builds relationships and functions in intricate social systems. Educating the whole person in academia signals a commitment to caring for students’ emotional, physical, and intellectual aspects and investing in the place and people to carry out this work.
Whether one-on-one, group, or informal family coaching, these activities represent opportunities for individuals to examine and act upon their thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Coaching provides opportunities to cultivate connections and offers scaffolded discovery with questions and curious inquiry. It represents a means to individual development, provides space for reflection on one’s journey, and cultivates mindsets and environments of inclusivity, belonging, compassion, and critical self-awareness.
As we move through these summer days, try to identify a few moments to ask good questions about yourself and the people around you. We can promote engagement and well-being by naming what success looks like – and maybe work on getting that full split or docking a boat!
Dr. Carey Borkoski is an Associate Professor at Johns Hopkins University where she holds a joint faculty appointment with the School of Education and the Bloomberg School of Public Health. Within the School of Education, she teaches research methods and advises doctoral students in the online EdD program. Her research explores the role of communities, bridging media like podcasts and TedTalks, and storytelling in facilitating student onboarding, promoting deeper learning, and mitigating anxiety around learning and engaging in often unfamiliar academic spaces. Connect with her at momentmcoaching.com
- Dr. Carey Borkoskihttps://ace-ed.org/author/cborkoski/
- Dr. Carey Borkoskihttps://ace-ed.org/author/cborkoski/
- Dr. Carey Borkoskihttps://ace-ed.org/author/cborkoski/
- Dr. Carey Borkoskihttps://ace-ed.org/author/cborkoski/
